It’s not the female that messes it up, but it’s the male

by: Darlene Charles

Friends with Benefits

Photo: Luminis Kanto Flickr CC

Everyone thinks, we’re friends… so I’ll rock with it – a friend and sex: SCORE!

Let’s face it, we think this way at some point in our lives, but, a friend with benefits just doesn’t work. Someone will start catching feelings, and it’s not always the female.

A male and a female can be friends, but when benefits are added, it’s another story. Feelings get so wrapped up. The male gets spoiled by the female when she’s always there: making him laugh, going to the movies, hearing about his point of views, and making him feel special. They start getting attached and feelings develop. Males always think the female are the ones who catch feelings, but to flip the script, it’s the male.

Let’s take for instance the movie, Friends with Benefits. At first, Mila believes:

sex should be like playing tennis with someone. You do it, and you don’t want to spend the weekend with them afterwards. No expectations, no emotions, no need to polite, just tell the other person exactly what you like in bed.

Justin takes Mila up for that challenge BUT… Justin starts catching feelings for her when Mila starts dating a pediatric oncologist. When he makes up an excuse for her to come back home with her, they make love but Justin acts like it doesn’t faze him.


Don’t get stuck in your tracks and believe that females get emotional and fall for the male; but the male, best believe, can fall for the female before she does. Justin fell in love with Mila. And most of the time, in our own realities, the male says they are just having sex with you, but the bigger picture is the male starts developing feelings for the female. Why? Because both parties think they are coming into an open-causal relationship, but they get themeselves into sticky situations they can’t handle.

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