Thanks, Mom

By Jeremy Scanlon

Jackie MacMullan really understands men. In her latest article, “Take a Deep Breath, Patriots Fans” she comforts the New England faithful by going into great detail as to why the New York Giants were simply a better team and earned the victory. How Eli and Manningham made the big play that Brady and Welker couldn’t, and everything else that went wrong:

“Curse Bill Belichick for his team’s mind-boggling confusion in the opening minutes of the game! Curse 12 men on the field! Curse the secondary for not picking off Eli Manning at least once! Curse Vince Wilfork for not playing like the Incredible Hulk again! Curse Aaron Hernandez for dropping that ball over the middle on the final drive! Curse Dan Koppen for breaking his ankle in September! Curse Stephen Neal for retiring last spring! Curse Kevin Faulk for having the audacity to be inactive! Curse them all!!”

Really, Jackie? This is what you’re going to go with? The rational approach? You want us to look at the big picture? Put in perspective? Calm down? It takes more than two days to get over a broken heart.

Here’s everything wrong with her. I mean, her article:

1. How she managed to not only mention every painful moment of that game in one article, but also think that was a good idea is beyond me.
2. Us fans aren’t even close to the think-about-it-rationally stage. We’re still in denial. Until this article, I forgot there was even a game on Sunday.
3. Did she think she was writing for ESPN New York?
4. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Stick to basketball, Jackie, where what you talk about doesn’t matter anyways.

She’s made herself look dumb on several other occasions. Here are two:

Good Job, Gisele

Rob Carr/Getty Images

By Jeremy Scanlon

Gisele Bundchen’s prayer request heard around the world has been proven ineffective. The house of Manning, Peyton seemed more welcoming to brother Eli than it did Mr. Tom Brady (and, can you blame it?), handing a disappointing end to what Gisele referred to as a “really important day” for her husband.

“This sunday will be a really important day in my husband’s life. He and his team worked so hard to get to this point and now they need us more than ever to send them positive energy so they can fulfill their dream of winning this super bowl… “

Positive energy found insufficient. Could the wife’s demonstration of support have backfired? Coming off a poor performance against the Ravens, could the calling of the powers from above shaken his confidence even more?

Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless yell like thirteen year old girls about it here:

While it pains me to say it, Skip Bayless is right. This wasn’t intended for the masses, and it’s a shame that it got out the way that is did. And we all wonder why we don’t hear from Gisele that much. Well, turns out she can’t send an e-mail about her husband without the whole world hearing about it.

You know what was intended for the masses?

“My husband can’t (expletive) throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time”

Sorry Gisele, it’s hard to defend that one.